Sunday, June 17, 2012

I survived.

First day of teaching (ever!), August 29th, 2011:

First last day of school, June 12th, 2012:

Similarities:
Happy-- smile intact

Differences (as noted in second photograph):
No makeup
Crazy, frizzed hair
Weight gain
Lanyard lost
Watch obtained
Wearing student artwork
Hiding from further student goodbyes in the library
One year wiser

The emotions of wrapping up my first year of teaching didn't hit me until June 13th, our professional day for final grades and cleaning out rooms. As I loaded a slew of art supplies into my too-tiny car in preparation for teaching at MICA's YPS (starting tomorrow), an overwhelming sadness hit. The empty, stripped room, the lights out, and what felt strangely ceremonial and final to me-- locking up every cabinet and drawer-- made my hour-long commute home even more complicated and painful than usual.

I'm not exactly sure where the sadness comes from-- a chapter closing? I was living for summer break and it finally comes and I'm... not happy. I couldn't fully process these emotions because once I came home on the 13th, it was time to pack... yes, pack some more. My cousin got married on June 15th, near Detroit, Michigan, so we were on the road the very next day, June 14th. We got home yesterday evening. Tomorrow, I meet fifteen new kiddos that I'll be spending the next, very intensive, week with. 

The sadness melts away as it's replaced with excitement and nerves about Drawing and Sculpture Workshops, with third-fifth graders who are the art stars of their schools. But it's also a mini-countdown to Friday... when I'll finally be able to truly sort out my emotions and final reflections and just breathe as summer greets me.



16 comments:

  1. Congratulations on the closing of the first year and the knowing that it all gets easier from here! LOVE the two pictures you are so funny!

    I have the opposite problem I loose weight all school year from running around so much and no time to eat and then gain weight all summer (usually on purpose!) This is the opposite of how it should be, it is bathing suit season after all, but I'll be eating mine with an ice cream in my hand.

    It is so emotional for different reasons every year. No one can understand the heart that has to go into this job.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much, Art Project Girl!

      I found that my weight fluctuated in crazy ways during the school year. I would gain 5 lbs, lose 5 lbs, gain it back again... sigh. I'm an emotional eater, and had trouble avoiding the tasty things left in the teacher's lounge, especially when I was stressed. And I picked up some bad habits from coworkers :( Not to blame them, but I was surrounded by folks who aren't quite so health-conscious. Now I gotta hit the gym and hike, hike, hike!

      We give and we give and we give of ourselves, it's so so true. But it's awesome!

      Delete
  2. That totally doesn't make sense, I mean I'll be eating ice cream! Not my bathing suit!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehe, no worries! Who knows... maybe you have a really tasty bathing suit?!

      Delete
  3. Congrats on surviving your first year! You may not have accepted summer just yet but in a few weeks you certainly will. The summer is so important for recharging your batteries and reflecting on what projects worked, which didn't, and planning new ones you wanted to try. The end of this week will mark my third summer and while I'll certainly miss my kids, I'm welcoming summer with open arms!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the congrats, Paintin'. My arms are slowly opening... just gotta get through this week. I might decide to decline the fancy summer art camp teaching gig next summer if the dates are similar. Wrapping up teaching only to find myself in a new classroom with new kiddos a few days later is so draining. Then it will be time for reflecting and relaxing... but not too much relaxing... it's time to find a wedding venue! I will need lots of your advice as I try to plan a wedding / maintain sanity as a teacher!

      Delete
  4. Congratulations on surviving! I very much enjoyed the side-by-side pictures as well as the differences and similarities. I remember being totally put together on my first day and then not being together at all by the end. Have a happy summer!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Congratulations and I'm happy that you survived your first year and WANT to go back in the fall! Don't forget to change your header on your blog! It gets better every year, believe me!

    :)Pat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Pat! Gotta change that header and YES, I actually do want to go back. After some weeks off, though :)

      Delete
  6. I wish I had thought to take a picture on my very first day! That will be really cool to have some year way down the road when you retire!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That only happened by chance! A good friend was in town from very far away, and the only time we could see each other was the evening after my first day of teaching (ever). It was a long, but very special day... and it was her idea to take my pic :)

      Delete
  7. Oh my. If you think THAT was emotional, I'm about to have my final LAST day. EVER. Not sure how I should or will feel. I'm jealous that Art Project Girl loses weight teaching. I'm hoping that the absence of the almost daily delivery of a birthday cupcake or brownie to my door by an eager child will help me take off some weight this summer. This week especially has been ver food-filled and then there's the end-of-year luncheon tomorrow...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was thinking about you as I was writing that post... how if I'm a wreck after ONE year, how will it / would it feel after an entire career? I'm sure there will be some tears! I'll be tuning in to your posts to see how it all wraps up... you better not stop blogging!

      (If your end-of-the-year luncheon is as disappointing as mine was, you will not consume too many calories. And mine cost $20.00! I feel like I'm the only person who has had to pay for my celebratory luncheon... *grumble* )

      Delete
  8. I just finished my first year as well! It's been an amazing, emotional roller coaster ride this past year and I am happy to say I couldn't have picked a better career! Once I had stripped everything off my walls and desk and counters, it was an emotional rush! My position next year is scheduled to be even more part time, so I am still not sure if I will be returning, which made every hug and sweet student made card even more touching and emotional. I was hired into my position the weekend before school started in August, so the beginning of my year was an exciting rush. Luckily, my parents stopped in to visit my room my first day, so I will have that picture to remember that excitement of having my own classroom for the first time as well! I could not believe how fast this first year has flown by and was very blessed by having started my career with a very warm and welcoming staff to support and encourage me throughout the year. Although my district does not allow teachers to have blogs of their own, blogs like yours encouraged me with new lessons to try out and even to create an art classroom website to showcase what we were creating in my classroom.

    Thank you for your posts and have a great and relaxing summer!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for the kind words! Grr, they should be extending the arts, not lessening your position! But I know I'm preaching to the choir. If the position falls through, anyone would be lucky to have you based on your passion and positivity. Best of luck and thanks for reading!

      Delete